oh. my.

such a wonderful voice.


but more than this song.

Lord, i lift up my utmost.
for You.
the unspoken words of love.
i cry out deep from within.

it's Your grace
that abounds
in every faling and fall.
unfaling promise
that holds on,
reaches out and saves what is wretched.

not a sure step
i have taken, not
an opportunity
i have seized,
not a task
i have chosen,
that i may dare
say
" i did it myself."

no.
wretched soul.
that only
You
restore,
redeem,
and make the offering-
unworthy
despised
filthy,
into something accepted,
holy
beautiful,

a sweet fragrant offering.


what amazing love.

Labels: l o v e

1:57 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

One Desire
You gave it all for me
My soul desire, my everything
And all I am is devoted to You

How could I fail to see
You are the love that rescued me
And all I am is devoted to You

And oh, how could I not be moved
Lord here with You
So have Your way in me
Cause Lord, there is just one thing
That I will seek

This is my cry
My one desire
Is to be where You are, Lord
Now and forever
Its more than a song
My one desire
Is to be with You
Is to be with You, Jesus

why do i feel the way i do?
all of mixed up feelings and emotions.


O Lord, against this bosom blast
of coiled and seething feelings,
batt'ring passions, ebbying yearnings,
oozing ache of inner man,
raise Thou the flinty walls of stuff of
which Thy Son was made.
Yea, build in me the buttressed
bastions of faith
that shall resist the undersucking flow
of soulish tide,
and make me to endure this late attack,
I pray, in Jesus' name.

-Jim Elliot

It itself is material for sacrifice.
It can be offered to Him who understands perfectly.
The transformation into something He can use for the good of others takes place only when the offering is put into His hands.

Let this be our last,
be still and splendid like a forest tree.
Let there be one grand look within our eyes
built of the wonderment of the past years,
too vast a thing of beauty to be lost
in quivering lips and burning floods of tears.


The greater the potential for good,
the greater the potential for evil.

that they be restrained, controlled, corrected,
even crucified,
that they might be reborn in power and purity for God.

Constrains of godly love
Trust me,
i have not earned your dear rebuke, -
i love, as you would have me, God the most;
would lose not Him, but you, must one be lost,
nor with Lot's wife cast back a faithless look,
unready to forego what i forsook;
this say i, having counted up the cost,
this, though i be the feeblest of God's host,
the sorriest sheep Christ shepherds with His crook.
yet while i love my God the most, i deem
that i can never love you over-much;
i love Him more, so let me love you too;
yea, as i apprehend it, love is such
i cannot love you if love not Him,
i cannot love Him, if i love not you.

what a thought. or many thoughts to chew on.

If they went away,
what would we have to offer up to the Lord?
Aren't they given to us to offer?
How would we learn to submit to the authority of Christ if we had nothing to submit?

I wait.
Dear Lord, Thy ways
are past finding out,
Thy love too high.
O hold me still
beneath Thy shadow.
It is enough that Thou
lift up the light
of Thy countenance.
I wait-
because I am commanded
so to do. My mind
is filled with wonderings.
My soul asks, "Why?"
But then the quiet word,
"Wait thou only
upon God."
And so, not even for the light
to show the step ahead,
but for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.

Labels: little deaths. the seed must die.

1:20 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

ive got hall.

haha im so happy((:

thank u God.
and i hereby make a solemn promise:

to not compromise any of time whilst i stay there,
to spend even more time with You,
and to love you even more with every bit of my heart.

thank you.

and i hear the silent whisper once again.
"I love you,
with the greatest of love,
the highest of them all,
and the deepest.
I love you
my dear child."


thank you for whispering these words into my heart.
for being by me always,
and never leaving me.
for always watching,
and singing over me.
it really blows me away,
and leaves me breathless.

go on,
go on
leave me breathless.

thank You for being my date this valentine.
for providing me the words to sing,
to sing a sweet sweet love song to You.
and hear you whisper again.
i would never trade these moments for anything in the world.

and i would fall to fly

jesus,
lover of my soul
jesus,
i will never let you go
yo've taken me from the miry clay
you've set my feet upon the rock
and now i know

i love you
i need you
though my world may fall
i'll never let you go
my saviour
my closest friend
i will worship you until the very end.

silence.
it speaks of God's intimacy.
it's only when ure reli comfortable with someone,
can you be silent,
and just sit,
and stare,
and enjoy the presence and company.
the very sense of you being near,
takes my breath away.
never let me leave your side.
let the silence speak of your love for me.
and i wait.
to hear your voice once again.
and until then,
let me enjoy
the silent conversations we have.

Labels: unconditionally and irrevocably in love.

10:22 PM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i hacked away.
bent down.
squatted down.
and hacked away.

28 coconuts.
im proud of myself.
thankfully i dint chop my hand or smth.
i salute the uncles and aunties who have been opening coconuts with the knife.
really requires skill to hack and open coconut.

my fingers are sore though, and just have a little scratch from the knife on my left hand. my right index is swollen a little.

heh. what a great experience.
chuk said i was so meng.
im not.

it feels reli good to hack hack hack away.
boy was i glad to finish selling the 30 coconuts.
it was so so good. really refreshing and sweet.

all this in the name of raising funds for our ocip trip to indon in july.
so wonderful.
thank you God for providing!
we targetted to raise 400,
and u gave 900!!!
the chocs and sweeets were sold and i thank u dear Lord.
thank u too for protection and strength.
((:
i pray tt tmr will be so gd too!

but im so tired.
haven studied for ca nt wk also.

pttf.

in the morning when i rise
help me to prioritise
all the thoughts in my head

and i can't believe i stained my white shorts today.
ugh.
no wonder feeling bit emo-y past few days n had the craving to eat ice cream and fries! poooi.

tired tired.

be my love Lord,
this vday and always.

thank You for loving me just as i am.

there is really no one else like You.

no one who can love me the way that You do.
being true to Your word,
and meaning every word of it.
thank You Lord.

Labels: i love You.

12:22 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

i have the sinking feeling
some things weighing me down
i am completely saturated
the waves are crashing closer
my feet already drowned
doing the thing i said i hated

fail, failing, failed.

and i fall again,
only to have You pick me up.
searching the things of the human heart.
i never knew that they were still buried there.
and my.
buried deep.
but You speak liberty.
and You asked,

"caron, do you love Me?"
"caron, do you love Me?"
"caron, do you love Me?"

i reply a "yes."

and i know i have to give it up.

i have to get this out
cause its obstructing You
and i try hard to keep the seas
that keep us parted.

woke up feeling convicted
i know some things i hide
reacquaint my knees with the carpet.

and so i let it go.

and i stood.
really speechless.
feeling the salt air blowing on my face.
so wonderful,
to stand there and hear the wind rushing past my ears,
past my face,
blowing my hair.
(what a mess my hair must have been)
and i gazed.
and watched.
stared.
pondered.
whispered.
and hear You whisper back.

i wish that moment never ended.
felt like it could go on forever.

love the beach.

i shall jog more often to pasir ris.

and ahh.
last night's movie set me thinking.
Sophie Scholl.
a woman who stood up agst Hitler.
and died for it.
alongside with her brother and friend.
how she prayed to you.
and never turned back.

her mother: Don't forget Jesus.
Sophie: You too, mother. See you in eternity.

dare we say it with such conviction?
she was led away to the gallows aftr this conv with her mum.

i cried. i did.
cause i dream of dying a death like that.
but would i stand the test?
and hold on,
with faith that has been tested with fire,
and everything else that the evil one throws at me?

keep me Lord.
for Your glory.
for Your Kingdom.

heal my heart and make it clean
open up my eyes to the things i see
show me how to love like You have loved me

break my heart from what breaks Yours
everything i am for Your kingdom's cause
as i walk from earth into eternity.

Labels: keep it in a treasure box.

12:22 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

oxygen oxygen oxygen.

renew my heart and my mind.
my heart has leprosy.

get real with You.
don't play anymore.

oxygen oxygen oxygen.

Labels: oxygen.

1:28 AM

my heart burns for you'
you see past all my lies.

shout it out (:

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all the brothers and sisters

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of old.

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credits.

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wonderful people

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